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The choices we make in life and how we react to events is a major factor in our happiness. In this regard, there are two types of people, those who act from a position of empowerment and those who take a passive stance. Empowered people take responsibility for their choices and act accordingly. Passive people let life happen to them and accept the results. Retirees can be susceptible to going from a career person's proactive mindset to a more passive way of thinking. To assure a happy retirement, it is important for baby boomers to recognize the difference between these two thought processes and to take action should a passive mindset start to develop.
Recognizing which mindset you are operating from is simply a matter of listening to yourself. People who are passive make statements such as:
Notice how each of these statements puts the blame for events on someone or something else. This type of thinking can too easily lead to feeling like a victim. I have a client who took early retirement from a position as a public school educator to become a full time grandmother. Before realizing it, she gave her life over to her daughters as an "on call" baby sitter. In so doing she let them take over her daily schedule. Her complaint is "I'm supposed to be retired but I don't have any time to myself. They call me the night before and expect me to be there at 8 AM the next day to babysit. I love my family but they have taken over my life. When do I get to enjoy my retirement?"
The victim mentality is quite apparent from her complaint. How did this young, educated woman go from an empowered educator to a passive grandmother? Once she got into retirement thinking mode, she let herself stop operating from a position of power. The next step was to slip into the passive state.
People who operate from a proactive mindset would phrase the above statements as follows:
Notice how in this second group of statements the speaker takes responsibility for his or her own life. This mindset leads to taking positive actions.
How do you change your mindset from passive to active? It is not difficult for most people but may require practice. By performing the following exercise regularly, you will be on your way to having more control of your retirement life.
Your retirement is not a dress rehearsal. This is the real thing. You need to make the most of each and every day. Be empowered to live a well balanced life by developing the proper mindset. You'll be amazed by the improvement in the quality of your retirement.
Tony Lacertosa, M.A. is a retired teacher and certified life coach with advanced training in health and wellness coaching. His practice specializes in working with young retirees who are not as happy in their retirement as they expected to be. Through his individual or group coaching programs conducted via telephone and email, he guides these retirees through the process of rethinking their idea of retirement and supports them as they learn how to live the new, exciting, lifestyle that they created for themselves. For a free report on dealing with the most common causes of unhappy retirement go to his website at http://unretirementcoach.com
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